Before I came to France, I had this vision of myself painting canvas after canvas. I was not happy that I could not buy a huge canvas here. This one is the biggest I could find at the time. ( now I know where I can get bigger canvases for OUTRAGEOUS prices, oh how I miss Blicks in Berkeley!)
But when you don't paint consistently, you loose your mojo...and I am in the muddy lows in this painting. ( a year and half of looking at this.) Perhaps I would turn it to the wall and give up on it, but I can't. I have a few in that condition at home in SF.
No, I am determined to finish it, even it is ugly, in the end...but I need to start something again very soon. For some reason I think that my life will take a turn when I finish this and move on to a fresh blank canvas, but then I always think that there is always something better coming in the future if I can just get through the now.